How to Stop Glorifying Busyness in a Stressed Out Society

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We all feel stress sometimes and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a little bit of stress that lasts for only a short period of time can help motivate us to get important things done. However, chronic stress can weaken the immune system, make you more prone to depression and anxiety, cause weight gain, sleep problems, and even heart disease. It’s that serious. High levels of stress prolonged over time also wreak havoc on your emotional and spiritual well-being. 

With productivity being championed to dangerous levels, especially for people with demanding careers, business owners, and parents, stress can feel unmanageable. Research has found that nearly half of adults in the United States experience an increase in stress year over year.

The most effective way to decrease stress is to stop being so busy. Easier said than done? Perhaps. But everything — even a baby step — is progress. Keep reading to learn tips for reframing “busy” and reclaiming your time and energy. 

Carve out time to do nothing

Life can feel like a precarious juggling act of work, childcare, sleep, exercise, family life, and attempting to have a life as a whole person outside of the roles you’ve taken on. With so much pressure from every direction, it’s critical for your health and well-being to spend time doing absolutely nothing. That’s not to say you need to sit and stare at a wall (though if that calls to you, by all means, enjoy). It can look like spending anywhere from a few minutes to a full weekend with no agenda, nowhere to be, and nothing that has to get done. 

Doing nothing is an act of defiance against a society that insists that you fire on all cylinders at all times. Realistically, that time isn’t going to create itself. You are going to have to be the one to draw boundaries so that you can create a space in your schedule for, well, living.

Be less busy: Look at your calendar and find or make some time to do nothing. Commit to that with the same dedication you would a client meeting or your child’s ballet recital.

Identify what really matters

Our society has an obsession with productivity that started in the Industrial Age. Technology has only furthered this by creating a system where the lines between work and the rest of life have been definitively blurred. Just think, how many times have you or someone you know worn the phrase “I’m so busy!” like a badge of honor?

I’d be willing to bet that if you took a critical look at what you are busy with, you’d find that a lot of the tasks you’re rushing around to get done are not all that productive. In other words, the things that take up your time and energy may not be the things that are moving the needle forward in your work, personal, or family life. 

When you’re busy, you may be filling your days up with tasks that are neither urgent or important, likely as a way of feeling valuable in a society that idolizes the hustle. When you’re productive, you actually create more time and space in your life to do what you want to do: the activities that leave you fulfilled and present.

Be less busy: Write down every single thing you think you need to get done. From picking up more cat food to preparing a report for your boss, get it on paper. When you’re done, read through it. Now, throw it in the trash (permission to tuck it away out of sight if letting it go feels like too much). Whatever you really need to get done, you will get done. Everything you forget? It probably wasn’t as high of a priority as you initially thought. 

Understand your personal relationship with being busy

If, as a child, you were in every extra-curricular imaginable, your parents worked long hours, or you had to spend more time handling responsibilities than having fun, you may find yourself modeling the same behavior to your own family. Perhaps you even developed the belief that in order to receive positive attention, you needed to be productive. 

The truth of the matter is that you were born worthy of love, positive attention, affection, and time to exist without contributing to the lives of other people. Part of being alive is having the capacity to enjoy the things that make life feel good. Whether that’s a glass of red wine on your front porch, a novel you can’t put down, or spending time playing with your kids, it’s important to recognize that you do not need to earn those things. 

Be less busy: Spend some time thinking, journaling, or chatting with a friend about why you feel the need to stay busy. Some questions you might explore include: Was I over-scheduled as a child? How might that be affecting me now? Do I feel like I need to be productive in order to be worthy of love, either from myself or others? What would it feel like if I decided to say no to everything except that which absolutely must be done?

Change the narrative around the glorification of busy

A quick scroll through Instagram or a conversation with anyone over the age of 25 confirms just how pervasive hustle culture is. While women are disproportionately targeted by marketers who want to push the idea that busy equals better, no one is totally immune. Being busy has become so glorified that many people prioritize their health and well-being as less important than taking on one more volunteer position, work project, family commitment, or social obligation.

While tackling your personal attachment to being busy is important, it’s also critical that we start to collectively shift away from the small, seemingly harmless habits that perpetuate the idea that busy is better. 

Be less busy: Instead of asking someone what they do for a living, ask them how they like to relax. Set healthy boundaries with colleagues and clients (in other words, it’s ok to not check your email after hours or say no to taking on a project you don’t have the bandwidth for). Pursue hobbies that are not meant to bring you income. Look busyness in the eyes and walk away from it, for the sake of your body, mind, and soul. 

Life doesn’t have to be a circus act, and you don’t have to be the one that gets it all done. There are always going to be people who have kids in every sport, are excelling in their fast-paced career, starting a book club, and sitting on the board of three different non-profits. That’s ok; everyone has their own path. If you’ve decided you’ve had enough of the constant go go go, make the decision today to be less busy. Life cannot wait but everything else can.

Fall Into Your Groove

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With fall comes the return to busy routines of work, school, and perhaps preparing the home for upcoming winter festivities or holiday travel. Increased exposure to people in close quarters and increased demands on our time and energy may bring “back to school” colds and respiratory ailments that affect the whole family.

In traditional life, fall was the time of harvest, for gathering our resources to guard against the adversity and scarcity of winter. It was the season to lay in supplies and eat heartily before fresh foods diminish.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, fall is the season of supporting the lungs, sinuses, and immune system with specific foods, treatments, and herbs.

In 2018, our bodies still carry a connection to nature and we still benefit from living in harmony with each season. What can you do this fall to support your lungs, sinuses, and immune system and ward off colds and flus?

Tips for finding your fall groove:

  1. Eat seasonal foods: There are still many kinds of fresh produce to be had in fall, but our cooking style should change with the season. Prepare vegetables warm and serve with aromatic seasonings, grilled, or roasted meats and warm grains. Minimize cheese, milk, and cream to keep phlegm at a minimum.
    • Examples: Roasted squash, caramelized red onions with cumin, star anise or ginger over quinoa. Roasted sweet potatoes with garlic and thyme served with grilled lamb sausage.
  2. Eat local, raw honey: See my article highlighting a local beekeeper and purchase local raw honey here.
  3. Breathe: Take a few minutes morning and night to sit quietly and inhale for a count of 4, hold 2 and exhale for a count of 4. Practice breathing into the very back and bottom of your lungs. This will both calm your nervous system and bring more oxygen into your body. Both are great for bolstering immune function.
  4. Sleep: Our bodies do most of their repair and restoration during sleep. Without it, your health, mood, and immunity can start to break down. Eight hours is vital for the prevention of a host of ills. If you have trouble sleeping, I offer acupuncture for insomnia.
  5. Take herbs to support your health: Depending on your area of weakness, it can make sense to have a few specific herbal formulas to have on hand like Yin Qiao for colds,  Respitrol CF for cough, Immune + to prevent colds, Pinellia XPT to expectorate phlegm and Pueraria Clear Sinus to clear phlegm and congestion from the nose.
  6. Get Acupuncture:  Weekly in the fall before the holiday season takes over. This is especially important for those who catch colds and flus frequently.
  7. Enjoy your life: This is the most underrated yet essential element for health. Do what you love, with people you love and who inspire you, and take the time to enjoy and appreciate what is right here, right now. The fall offers unique pleasures to enjoy like changing leaves, sweaters, and in the Bay Area, extended summer. Enjoy it all!

For help finding your fall groove, Dr. Giulietta Octavio uses acupuncture, Chinese Medicine, nutrition, Gua Sha, counseling, Chi Nei Tsang, cupping, and herbal medicine to help patients in the Bay Area, at WholeFamily MD and Integral Body. For more information or to schedule an appointment, click here.

Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep

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Sleep is so natural, so human, and so easy – like walking and eating – until it isn’t.

For some of us, insomnia begins with having children. We are easily startled by the smallest move, the fear that something is wrong, or soon enough, by crying or running into our bedrooms at night. For others, the problem starts with difficulty falling asleep due to a racing mind worrying about work or other life stresses. Sleep may be disrupted by an ever present shiny blue screen beaming light into our brains suppressing melatonin that should be released at bedtime. Or maybe it’s a snoring partner, noisy pet, or restless legs that keep us awake.

Interrupted and non-restorative sleep is so pervasive that the media has clearly picked up on the issue and sleep itself has developed a new cache as people realize the role it plays in good health. A whole industry of sleep medicine now exists brought on by the ubiquitous 24-7 lifestyle choices, demands, and anxieties that can influence, if not cause, poor sleep.

Even if you know about sleep hygiene, there is a good chance that you could use a refresher. Check out these basic tips for getting a good night’s sleep:

Tips for Good Sleep Hygiene:

  • The bed should only be used for sleep and sex.
  • No screens within one hour of bedtime.
  • Avoid the news if it is a trigger to your stress.
  • Avoid alcohol.
  • Don’t eat too close to bedtime.
  • Avoid caffeine after noon (some people are even more sensitive).
  • Establish a regular sleep routine – the same thing every night – with relaxing rituals that feel good to your body, for example  a warm shower, cozy pajamas, a 5 minute meditation, and then into bed.
  • Make sure the temperature in your room isn’t too hot or too cold.
  • Get up at the same time every day.
  • If you wake-up in the middle of the night, don’t clock watch. Get up, move into another room, and do something boring for 10-15 minutes. It shouldn’t be engaging, stressful, or involve a screen. Then go back to bed and try again.
  • Sometimes a change of environment can help. This can be especially true if your sleep partner is snoring.

If these basic sleep hygiene rules don’t do the trick, here are some extra tips that could be worth trying:

  • For some people, listening to audio can help them go to sleep – for instance – a podcast or audiobook. Again, it should be a low stress subject, and not so engaging that you wake yourself up to listen to it. Something non-offensive and a general interest of yours.
  • Get your heart rate up early in the day. Physical exercise every day for at least 30 minutes can improve your chances of a good night’s sleep. Better not to exercise close to bedtime, though.
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy can really help with insomnia. Seek a psychologist or other psychotherapist who has experience in this area.
  • Having good interactions in-person with people during the day has been shown to correlate with better sleep at night. This is especially true if you have good face-to-face interactions with your romantic partner. Facebook and social media don’t count here. It is really crucial that you have real human interactions.
  • Warm milk 1-2 hours before bed (if you aren’t lactose intolerant) can improve your sleep due to the tryptophan in the milk.
  • Giving yourself a break if you wake up can often be helpful. You can remind yourself that, even if you aren’t getting a good night’s sleep, you will get through the day. Sometimes just telling yourself that it is ok to be up relaxes you enough that when your body is ready, it is more likely to take the opportunity to go back to sleep.
  • Be ok with the “second sleep”. Pre-industrial ancestors often split their sleep into two shifts – one shift a few hours after dusk interrupted by a 1-3 hour wakeful time, followed by another sleep with wakefulness starting around dawn. It may be that our biology, if not our lifestyle, is more suited to this kind of pattern.
  • Of course, there are herbs and supplements. Valerian, Melatonin, Sam-E, 5-HTP, Calms Forte, Hops and Magnesium are some things that people try with varying degrees of success for mild sleep problems.
  • Over-the-counter short term solutions include benadryl and unisom.
  • Pharmaceuticals such as ambien ortrazodone are options for some people. These are band-aids, though, and while they can improve sleep time for some people, they don’t improve health outcomes when used on a regular basis.

(*NOTE: Most pharmaceuticals, herbs, and over-the-counter medications come with drawbacks and no pill or powder can improve sleep-related health outcomes.)

Ultimately, like eating well and exercise, sleep is something that we can work on to improve our overall health. Please see your primary care provider at WholeFamily MD if you would like to discuss your own sleep hygiene and how it relates to your health.